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Travel adventures and journeys in life take many interesting routes and often awaken our senses and minds to possibilities not thought of before the departure. This is one such journey, not really a vacation, but a transformation and discovery into an unknown world. It started last year when my mother in La Jolla, California, suffered a minor stroke. She recovered, except she has lost most of her memory, meaning that although I won't have to pay her back that lingering $100 debt from 1968, she needs my help now as she enters a new chapter in her travels on this earth. The time arrived when mom needed to move from independent living to assisted living or to a retirement home. What unfolded during the last six months has been a real eye-opener and a sad realization of the status of the health care system in the United States for low income seniors, and in fact, for many people in need of medical care and assistance. It's ALL about money now; compassion, understanding and social consciousness is "out the door." I probably could have written the script for Michael Moore's new film, Sicko, as could many of my other "boomer" friends who are now helping their parents in their years of need and special attention. It's absolutely unbelievable what is happening to our parents as far as getting good and reliable healthcare in the United States. My experience at many of the hospitals and clinics in San Diego is that "nobody cares." At one medical clinic in La Jolla down along the seashore, doctors never checked my mother's cholesterol levels when she was having dizzy spells and falling. Instead, they suggested she get some new shoes and walk slower. Several weeks later she had a stroke. The shoes probably wouldn't of prevented that! And her lab reports and blood tests never surfaced. We found out six months later that the doctor had retired and everything "fell thru the cracks" along with her Health Net medical coverage (well. at least the name is honest -- it's a net preventing her from getting any healthcare!). The bottom line is unless you take "the bull by the horns" and get tough, you're out of luck as far as medical treatment in the States. Don't get me wrong: I still think the US is "the best government that money can buy," especially if you're rich and well-connected. Then came the time to move mom to assisted care. Seems nobody takes Medical, Medicare, or SSI anymore. There are a few "board and bed" units out there, if you don't mind sharing your room with others in a dorm-like setting, cluttered with walkers, wheelchairs, and bed pans. And my mother really wasn't ready for that. Basically, she is fine, just has a memory problem. So, after looking for several months trying to find a doctor somewhere who could perform an evaluation of her situation and make a recommendation for housing, everything failed. Her HMO failed her, her doctor failed her, social services failed, the hospitals failed -- it was hell! Finally, I intervened to prevent her from becoming homeless in the same community she helped to build in her more glorious days as a dedicated community volunteer and leader. What happened to "the dream" of democracy that my dad fought for on Iwo Jima? Where did it all go? Did we really give it all way for "out of control capitalism and personal gain" over social responsibility and equality for all? It's all very sad. We've spent our money on war, cut social programs, and sold out our children and our parents for the financial gain of a few individuals, families, and corporations. Short term capital gain is fine, but at the cost of our country and values? What about quality and affordable education for our kids and what about caring for our elders. Didn't they build this great nation? (Mom is in the background telling me: Don't say that, son. You may end up on Bush's terrorist list.) Gee, her memory isn't all that bad...she seems to remember that everywhere junior goes, revolution soon follows! Well, hopefully, if true, they'll deport me back to Mexico - at their expense. I need a vacation...from the insanity of greed and selfishness! Excuse me for a moment while I step down from my soap box, although as a veteran and dedicated public servant for over twenty years, I think I have a right and responsibility to speak my mind. And you could be thinking: "Look. buddy...America, love it or leave it, pal." Well, I did and I took my mother with me to Mexico! Yes, that's right. I moved Mom to Mexico and we're all very happy about that. In fact, we have been more than surprised by the help and response from everyone here in wonderful Mexico, land of the free! And special thanks to all the folks who stepped up to help my mom, wonderful and caring people like Laura and Patty Wong, Marsha from Cha Chaâs, and Jackie Alameda from Click-on.com. This country is proactive in helping each other and "mom" is the magic word in Mexico. Just say "mom" and everything happens...for the better. Before I smuggled my mother into Mexico, I went online to get the legal details, permits, procedures, requirements, etc. Everything written on "Moving to Mexico" was faulty or outdated. For starters, many articles suggested you need special permits and special movers to bring your personal goods across the border. Several writers stated that most U.S. rental companies prohibit moving trucks from entering Mexico and that you need a customs brokers to get approval for your goods prior to entering. Well, I was out of time, low on money, and Mom needed a home. I rented a small moving truck in Mission Valley for the day (nobody asked me where I was going) and then I headed over to Home Depot to find a strong worker for as few hours. Of course, he was Mexican, and when I mentioned I was moving my mom to Mexico, he turned into a super-hero. We packed up Mom, lifted her into the truck, told her not to speak at the border, and headed to TJ. Luck, angels and compassion were on our side that morning. We made it! Free, free, free at last! We escaped into a country where family and mom mean something. Oh yes, free at last! We found my mother a nice two-bedroom apartment about one block from the hospital in Rosarito Beach for $300 per month. She could crawl to the Red Cross clinic if she had to, but in Mexico that could never happen. Her neighbors care about her and have all offered to help in any way possible as needed. We've spoken with Marsha at Cha Cha Cafe about assisted nursing care when and if the time comes. Marsha has taken her 30 years of private care nursing experience in California and turned it into an incredible business of care and compassion for those in need. She's "world renowned" for her in-home care programs and charity work. The change has been good for my mother. She's in a different culture, she sees another world, she knows I'm nearby and that people care...she feels better! There's hope now, a home has been created, a system is in place, and Mom is living a quality life during her time of need. Like I told her at Puerto Nuevo over lobster and a margarita: Hey, this sure beats a retirement home. She said: Can you loan me a dollar for the mariachiâs? Life is good in Mexico and all that much better with Mom in the neighborhood, living in safety and security. And about that $100 I owed her from the 60's? It's collected some interest over the years and Mom's getting it all back now, before it's too late, when she needs it most, one drink, one lobster, and one day at a time. There is a new movement in Mexico to provide options for Americans seeking assisted living or retirement in an affordable and quality environment. Several developers along the coast from Tijuana to Ensenada are building retirement communities and assisted living complexes to meet the needs of the "boomers" and their parents. Maybe you should consider "Moving Mom to Mexico" and then, of course, the rest of the family. Can't let Mom have all the fun! Steve Dryden is a wine, travel, and native history writer living in Guadalupe Valley. He can be reached at sbdryden@hotmail.com. |
